He Knows

Hey Mister,Listen here
ever since he's gone
i knew i didn't have a choice
my life, i gotta moving on
no time to ponder and wonder
ever since he left
it had been hard, yeah
i hadn't had time to grief
it's do or die for me, yeah
so don't come here
telling me what i should do
what i should have
all those things - i already knew
tho late at nightdown on my knee
out of hearing, out of sight
He listen to my plea
yes, He knew
He listen
He knows
whats in my head
whats in my heart
alone in my bed
crying myself to sleep
oh its hard
it is hard..

Hey Mister
don't come near
now that he's gone
i gotta fend for my own
overnight i have grown
struggling on and on and on
my baby needs me
no more can i decide freely
cos he's my baby, see?
and saviour of my sanity
so don't come here
telling me what i should do
what i should have
all those things - i already knew
tho late at nightdown on my kneeout of hearing, out of sight
He listen to my plea
yes, He knew
He listen
He knows
whats in my head
whats in my heart
alone in my bed
crying myself to sleep
oh its hard
it is hard..
no one knows its gonna be this hard
still i gotta moving on
still i gotta do my part
in a world of uncertainty and doubt
theres just my baby and i
gotta find the way out
and
He knew
He listen
He knows..

he wins again.. maybe

i know i shouldn't be angry at you. after all, you and i shared undefined non-specific relationship since..hmm.. 15 years ago? but i still feel a bit pissed and spiffed when your subordinate told me you moved to another office... and that office is just 2 minutes away from mine. i mean, what if i bumped on you somewhere? or what if i accidently have some business there? i mean.. ahhhhhh... you make my life seriously upside down...

sigh.. it's not your fault. i know, i know.. it's me. i am still clinging to the past. lets bygone be bygone, time will heals everything, yada yada yada yada..

but i hope, really really really really hope we don't bump to each other now that we are so much nearer. i don't think i could resist the temptation to.............. slap your face silly!

My Mumu a Brit-Doll

This is Mumu - shorts for Muezza. He's a mix breed of Ragdoll & British Short-hair.
We got him 2 months ago, when he was about 2 months old.
He's favorite past time is sitting on the window sill and looking outside - at the flocks of birds flying past the hill, of cars and motorbikes parked downstairs, of people walking on the road. Sometimes he climbs to the top window sills and sits there quietly, hidden behind the curtain.
When he's on his mischievous mode, he'll grab our legs whenever we walk near him. He'll play with anything as long as that thing can move and excites him.
He already toilet trained when we got him, Bless his previous owner. But he has a bad habit of playing with the litter sand even when he does not have the urge. Naughty little thing. his litterbox now occupy my bathroom, and i have to bath at the 2nd, more smaller bathroom - talk about royal treatment.

He sleeps in my room, and often wakes me up by kneading on my body - tummy, arm, thigh, or my buttock, usually to tell me : Feed me, human!

Thats my Mumu ;)

honesty is the best policy

Daniel asked me, last night, why i was mad at him when he wasn't being truthful. i was tempted to say: "your father was not being truthful to me when he married me. he hid so many things - important things - and that hurt me a lot. it hurt a lot when someone we love was being untruthful (is there such a word?). and it hurt me too when you're not being honest."

so i told him - except the part about his father. basically he knows the old man was being dishonest when he left us. so i don't see any needs to tell him what he already know.

i told him being dishonest hurt people a lot. when he lied to me, something happened to my heart that sorta breaks it. it hurt me real deep. i reiterate, you dont hurt the people you love by being untruthful. you gotta respect them, by telling the truth. once you lie, you lose yourself. you will continue to lie on the lies you made, until you can't tell the difference. and there'll be more heart broken by the lies you made. and it will make you suffer cos you never meant to hurt them in the first place. lies hurt.

he hugged me and whispered: "i'm sorry, mama.."

i hope he'll take my words deep in his heart and let it seep into his being..

pit-stop

i have a blog. in VOX. but Mr.Admin blocked the URL, and said: "depend on permitted. if it is a mandatory in job duty, it will granted." Ignore the bad grammar and spellings.
so i have to find a space that Mr. Admin did not/ has not/ could not block aka permit for access. as a pit-stop. to save my sanity. it is deemed mandatory (to me) to be able to operate sanely in this hell-hole. so here i am. in my pit-stop.